Diversity, Equity & Inclusion

Upper School Students Share LGBTQ+ Conversation

Our Parent DEI Task Force recently hosted an “LGBTQ+ Support 101” workshop for parents and caregivers in our community presented by Cadence Pentheny from The Triangle Community Center. Approximately 50 participants joined us. In preparation, we asked Upper School students to anonymously share some thoughts with those who would be present. Following are the three questions we asked, and some of their responses: 
What aspects of the LGBTQ+ spectrum do you think presenters should focus on when talking with the adults in your lives?
  1. accepting your child when they come out
  2. how everyone is equal
  3. including LGBTQ+ people in everyday things and not discriminating against them
  4. gender (pronouns) and sexuality
  5. Those who are unsure about where they lay on the spectrum. Also, those who express feelings for more than one gender
  6. being supportive
  7. Acceptance  
  8. It is very important to accept anyone that is a part of this community.
  9. I personally think that parents have the hardest time understanding trans or gender-fluid people
  10. The +
  11. The fact that some people disrespect people of lgbtq+ and make fun of them
  12. You love who you love and you shouldn't try to change that about someone
  13. helping other's understand why people are gay by explaining the actual science behind it and  what it has to do with the brain and the chromosomes, similar to the science behind why some are transgender
  14. Sexual orientation, gender, what it means to be straight, what it means to be cisgender, being an ally, being a supporter, raising your child to be supportive of the LGBTQ+ community, fostering a safe space for your child/peers
What would you directly like to share with our Parents and Caregivers about this topic?
  1. loving your kid no matter what
  2. it can be a sensitive topic and it’s important to be thoughtful 
  3. Be fair and gentle when discussing this topic. Do not shame people for who they are.
  4. Everyone should be treated equally with the same amount of respect as anyone. 
  5. it's wrong to discriminate against LGBTQ+ people. Be nice to them, they're not that different from other people.
  6. All people deserve to love who they love
  7. It's hard being a part of the LGBTQ+ community. Look at Florida and some other states for some evidence on that point.
  8. I want to say I love this community for supporting LGBTQ+
  9. I don't know if anyone would feel comfortable sharing.
  10. Mom, Dad, I am straight and I have masculine pronouns
  11. I would like to leave it to the professionals
  12. Trying to force change in someone's sexuality could negatively impact their mental and emotional state
  13. That at this point, I would not call the NCCS Upper School a safe space for people to come out, and that homophobia is one of the biggest social injustices that we encounter
  14. "I hate how everyone automatically assumes you are straight and so you can't be friends with guys without someone being like ""oh look that's her boyfriend""! I also hate how some of the boys find it funny to pretend to be gay, but when you are a lesbian they just think you're weird. Another problem I have is when I came out to my friends, they automatically assumed  I had a girlfriend, which I found kind of annoying. The lack of positive lesbian role models in media are also a problem, because most lesbian characters are either evil or die at the end. The world needs more positive LGBTQ role models so they can see themselves in books, movies, tv, or life."
  15. The truth is whether you want to accept it or not some of your children may be a part of the LGBTQIA+ community and some of your children may be homophobic. The latter is not acceptable to act on or comment on ever.
Anything else you'd like to add?
  1. Accept your children for them
  2. Pay attention to your child's actions and behavior including their self care
  3. Hi Mr. Clarke, I am in SDLC and we have been discussing injustice around the NCCS LGBTQ+ community for a while now. I got so excited when I heard your announcement about the Parent DEI Task Force! Thank you, I'm sure that it truly means the world to a number of students to hear about the support from adults in the community. 
  4. Parents should be talking and educating their kids more about the LGBTQ+ community. Many kids in our school, and in general (especially boys) make fun of the community and people. This is clearly from parents not bringing up this topic and talking to their kids about the community. When kids (or people) aren't educated about something that is different from themselves, they tend to assume that thing is bad, and dislike that thing. Parents should really teach their kids, (ESPECIALLY YOUNGER ONES) about the LGBTQ+ community. Not educating kids about the LGBTQ+ community could also have a negative effect on them because if they do turn out to be LGBTQ+, uneducation on the topic usually ends with them being in denial of their sexuality/gender identity, and makes it harder for them to accept themselves and other LGBTQ+ people. (sorry this was long, everything in here is just really important to mention.)
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New Canaan Country School admits students of any race, color, national and ethnic origin and are afforded all the rights, privileges, programs, and activities generally accorded or made available to students at the school and does not discriminate on the basis of race, color, age, sex, sexual orientation, national origin or ancestry, or disability in administration of its educational policies, admissions policies, financial aid policies or any other school-administered programs.